Yes, after a year of you hearing about it, it going to be over soon. This Saturday is the First Annual Tractor Winterboro Cruise. Everything looks to be in place and I am ready to get on the road.
I want to share with you this morning a message that I received from the local pastor. Yes, I went to church this morning. I decided on the way to Work at Still Waters that I would go to the local Methodist church that is just down the hill from the gate to Still Waters. It is a small church and I knew that one of the members of the fire department went there. It was a wonderful church. Hard to describe, but it was both small and old and new and modern. It had a great fill to it. The picture above is the front of the church as you look out during the service. It reminded me so much of the views from Christ Church and the feel of Sycamore or Berry.
Anyway, I received a message today during the pastors sermon that I want to share. It is based on the scripture of Exodus 32: 1-14. It talks about that even god became angry at his people but was able to change his mind and let go. In the verses, Moses has been gone some time into the mountain and the people became restless and felt abandoned. So they went and built an idle to worship because they were scared that Moses, their leader, had abandoned them. from here I want to quote what the Bible I am using says;
God spoke to Moses, "Go! Get down there! Your people whom you brought up from the land of Egypt have fallen to pieces. In no time at all they've turned away from the way I commanded them: They made a molten calf and worshiped it. They've sacrificed to it and said, "These are the gods, O Israel, that brought you up from the land of Egypt!"
God said to Moses, "I look at this people--oh!what a stubborn,hard-headed people! Let me alone now, give my anger free reign to burst into flames and incinerate them, But I'll make a great nation out of you."
Moses tried to calm hid God down. He said,"Why, God, would you lose your temper with your people? Why, you brought them out of Egypt in a tremendous demonstration of power and strength. Why let the Egyptians say, 'He had it in for them - he brought them out so he could kill them in the mountains, wipe them right off the face of the Earth. 'Stop you anger. Think twice about bringing evil against your people! Think of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, your servants to whom you gave your word, telling them 'I will give this land to your children as their land forever,'"
And GOD did think twice. He decided not to do evil he had threatened against his people.
As I listened and took in the words of the pastor, he talked of how we all don't do right all the time and "even God can change his mind". But then he said something else that just really struck me as the truth of especially my situation. He said" It took 1 day for GOD to get his people out of Egypt, It took 40 years to get Egypt out of his people." And that lead me to the revelation that even though I have decided to make a change to find HAPPINESS, FAITH and PEACE in my life, I can make the decision quickly, its the change that will take awhile to happen.
Then I heard myself saying, ' why did it take so long for you to see that a change was needed.' The answer is that it did not take a long time for me to see that a change was needed, I saw that a change was needed many a year ago. I just did not follow threw when I said I needed to make a change. Even though I promised GOD, Myself, Amy and Hunter that I would change, It was easier not to change and I would forget about it before I was out the door. I am going to insert a song that says this in as clear of words as I have ever heard before. The problem is that I have listened to this song many a time and thought the same thing, but with out conviction, it is not possible to change.
Thank you for listning to me and my GOD be with us all as we try so hard to be who we need to be.
Today has been a day that I have been on one of the roller coasters that I have been riding for the last few weeks. Amy decided that some time for us to breath and think was in order. I understand what she is saying, but that does not make it any easier for me. I don't think it is easy for her either, but she has the edge of understanding her thoughts that I do not have.
As most of you to know, I am a music person anyway. As I have been listening to my i-pod or radio, I have found several songs that I identify with right now. The song with this blog page is one that says a lot of what I am feeling in words that I identify easily. I have several more that I am hanging onto right now. I have already used a couple in previous blogs, but still keep coming up with more. I have made a playlist of these songs for Amy, and once she has listened to them and we talk, I will post this playlist to the side of my blog to share with you also. I feel it important that we have a chance to talk about the meaning of them before I share them.
I do have a playlist to the right side of the blogs of songs that I like right now. But these are not specific to Amy or our situation.
Last night was Homecoming at Winterboro. The Bulldogs were victorious and everyone seemed to have a good night. I worked for the band boosters by frying french fries. I never heard how we did as far as money, but I know the kept busy. After the game, there was a dance and Amy was asked to be a watch dig for "dirty dancing" so she asked me to help. I floated around and helped keep eyes on students. Again, everyone seemed to have a good time, except for Hunter. I wish he could learn that his dad's ways of being grumpy are not the best way. I sure have struggled with it all my adult life, but I hate that he has it. He should have had a blast instead of not.
I don't think it took to much to get me to go to sleep after the day I had, but it was still not easy with the feelings stirring in me of what was happening and how can I fix it. I guess my sleeping aid kicked in and I went down. Unfortunately, I awoke about 10 to 10:30 and my mind cranked right up. I decide about 11 that I could still sleep almost 6 hours before getting up for work, so I took another aid to sleep. Sometime this afternoon, Amy and Hunter showed up to get some things from the house and about scared the crap out of me. When they had gotten whatever they came to get, I finally was fully out of my stupor from the pills. I knew I could not take another and perform tonight here at TCC, So I just got up and tinkered around. I did some laundry and gathered some cans up for recycling. I then got ready to leave for work and went ahead and left to make some stops along the way. The first stop was for something I have not done in along time, but had a craving for a good cigar for tomorrow, so I stooped at "The Humidor Room" in Inverness for a sinful treat. I then stopped at the book store and picked up "Brisingr" by Christopher Paolina. This is the third book of three in this series. I look forward to seeing what happens. I then went up to the Apple store to see if they had any suggestions on how to get Hunter's i-pod back running. He would have gotten a new one had he keep better care of it. It was still under warranty but due to it having 5 dents in the back if it, they consider it to be abused and would not cover the damage because that is what caused the failure. I have an extended warranty threw Wal-Mart, but it has to be sent off and we will see what they say. I then was so hungry from sleeping all day and not having a dinner last night. I decided that I would splurge just a bit and went by Dreamland for some ribs. This was out of budget, but I figured that it served as 3 meals and that would add up to the cost of the ribs. They were good, but I'm sure Hunter and Amy would have loved to have gone with me. So now it is 0337 in the morning and I sit here writing to you. I think it is time to close out and try to read in my new book.
Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers that we can find the peace and happiness that was lost.
Love to all of you,
JEFF
P.S. - I did put some new pictures from the Pell City Compitition in the "Picasa" link. I now have a ton of more room to bring you pictures for a long time. You can just click on the picture of Hunter to go there.
As most of you know, family life in our home has been and continues to be tested everyday. Amy, Hunter and I are trying to find that happiness that went missing along time ago. Amy is doing much better than I . Hunter is struggling with being a teenager and the decisions that he is making in his life. And I am facing the fact that I was missing from life altogether for some time now.
The song above is a Casting Crowns song that has spoke to me for a long time now, but I never admitted that I was struggling with finding myself. As I am attempting to make the changes in my life to make myself happy and in turn be able to give happiness to my family, friends and co-workers, I find that it is so easy to go back to the way of the past and the comfortable. It takes me thinking about every word that comes from my mouth and every action that I make. It is not just with Amy or Hunter that I have neglected to live and be present. As I have thought about things and looked at what Amy was pointing out to me, I have found that I can see way more that I have done or not done that disturbs me. I want to say to all that care for me that I am sorry that I was absent from life and want all of your support and help to make me be present. I can not fix years of damage overnight, but I will do all I can to make the changes and to keep them changed in the future.
I do want to warn all of you that part of that change is going to take control of this blog as being my way of talking to the world without compromise. I have edited myself many times for the sack of others that read this and not wanting to hurt or anger anyone. But he reason for a blog is to be able to share thoughts and activities without the fear of censorship. So this is my warning to all of you that I am going to write my feeling and thoughts as I wish to. I welcome your comments or questions, but expect you to honor that I have feelings that may hurt your feelings at times and wish for you to have an open mind with me or stop reading this. Thank you for your support, prayers and help.
I don't have much on the day to day to tell you about. Mostly because the daily activities are overshadowed by the thoughts and changes that are going on. Hunter got in trouble at school and elected for licks instead of OSCAR today and he has to miss the Homecoming pep rally today which is not good since he is the section leader for the drums. If any body has a cure for teenage hood, let me know. Kelly and I are working on the trailer that we hall the tractor on and making it easier and safer to use. He is on the way to Tractor Supply now to get a new coupler for ti so that when we get to welding the ramps (hopefully Monday) we can put it on also. We have both been concerned when hauling the tractor that it was going to come off because our coupler is so warn and loose. Of course tonight is homecoming at Winterboro. I am working the concession stand and Amy is going to take the night to sit in the stands with her friends and watch the activities of homecoming. She has really grown into loving her work at the school and she deserves to participate in Homecoming an not work for the band tonight. I hope to sleep most of tomorrow to change from day shift to night shift again and then be at work tomorrow night. Next week is going to be a crazy week with work and prep for the tractor cruise. I will keep you up to date as much as possible.
I hope everyone finds themselves living there lives in truth and honor to self. I have found out that for years I have been stuffing feelings to the back and living a unhappy life that did not honor myself and especially my family. Even with the things that effect the lives of the three of us in our family, I have had to come to grip that I did not handle the events real well for many a year now. So now I struggle to figure out how to become honorable to myself which in turn will honor all those that I come to deal with, weather family, friends, co-workers, or even a stranger.
As I put the video on the top of this, This song says a lot about how I feel right now. For those that have not scene the movie "The Bucket List", it is a must see along with "Pursuit of Happiness". I wish that you would take the time to see these.
I am not going to go into all that is going on at my house right now due to the complexity of the situation. But I will tell you that it has been a hard week and will take some time to bring it back to a comfortable state.
I thank all of you that have been affected by the situation and supported Amy and I and continue to do so. Please keep us in your prayers.
As far as other things that have gone on or are going on. The band had competition in Pell City on Saturday. They did a great job. Rodney scored a 1 and got best in class. We would have liked to have scene better scores across, but were pleased with the performance and scores over all.
I still am getting ready for the big Tractor Cruise next weekend. I will be relieved when it is over. Amy continues to do her thing at the school and is growing in confidence like I have not scene in along time. She has also lost weight and is looking real good. Hunter is a 15 year old . rebelling teenager that is driving us crazy. I just wish I could break threw to him and make him understand that his action cause our actions of discipline and concern. HE told us last night that if we did not bug him about his homework he would do it, but he did not turn in two assignments so we had to step in. Its a vicious cycle.
Well , I am going to attempt to do an upgrade on my picture link during the day to day to get more storage and I have a lot of pictures to upload for you to see. I will let you know when they are online.
I am so excited, but with some reservation, I have a date for delivery of my Smart. They are now showing a delivery date to Crown Automotive for January 4, 2009. It can still move ether direction, but at least there is a date. I can not wait.
Guess where I am, yes Tcc or as it is now know ATCC ( Alabama Trauma Communications Center). We are growing to be state wide and the state has renamed us. The good thing is that we are now state funded. I work 10:30 a to 10:30 p today. I will miss going to the away game tonight, but we have competition tomorrow in Pell City. For those that want to come see the band and support the kids and Grayson, we perform at 12:40 p. It is at Pell City High School.
I have been a busy bee for the last two days. I don't know what I would have done without the 2 days off. I spent both days doing projects that needed done. I took the tractor to the shop and got it fixed where they messed up last time. I got my car checked and found the noise I keep hearing and thank goodness that it is not a big deal. The rest of the time, I worked around the shop and in the yard. I have been refinishing a desk for Amy for several months now. I have most of the paint on it. All to do now is add a couple more layers of top coat on the top surface to make it durable and smooth than put the legs on it. It is an antique school desk. I don't remember where I stumbled upon it, but the legs had been sitting in water and had rotted more than half off.the top part was in great shape except for multiple layers of old paint and a lot of gum stuck under it. It is a neat desk with a full size table top with 2 drawer cubbies under it on each side. Anyway, I painted a coat here and a coat there for the last two days in between working in the yard. I don't know what it is about cutting grass that makes me relax, but It was good therapy for me. I am sore today, but that will go away.
The family reunion is at the farm on Saturday while we are gone to the band competition. Kelly will finish a few small things today and the yards are ready for the visitors to have a beautiful day on the lawn.
I will post video from the competition as soon as I can Sunday or Monday.
Its Tuesday morning as I sit here at TCC for the second day in a row. Don't take me wrong, I like doing back to back shifts. It gets them out of the way. I could see how if I could stack all 3 shifts for the week, I would and then have the other 4 to do whatever with. I stayed with ma and pa Rogers last night. They seem to be doing good.
Not much to tell you about right now.
This week seems to be a long week for Amy and I will do what I can to support but not get in the way. I plan on working around the house for the next couple days and help get ready for the family reunion at the farm this weekend. I am also going to attempt to paint the desk I have been refinishing for Amy to use a t Sycamore School and get it put together. I don't want to rush it and it takes all I can not to. I want to paint it and let it sit for several days before assembling it so that the paint can be a hard as possible to be durable. I think I will also spray the top with a polyurethane to help it last a while. I have to work this Friday and will miss going to the away game with the band. They travel to Nogasulga down close to Auburn. I will get to go to the competition in Pell City on Saturday. They are working hard to be the best they can be for this competition. I invite any of you to come out and support the band at competition. I will update a time of performance later in the week.
The Tractor Cruise is getting closer now and I am so nervous that the participation is going to be low. I am going to make it the funnest day possible for who ever shows up.
We have been invited to a Halloween party the night of the 1st that promises to be a fun event since you have to be in costume to get in. I can't wait. Just hope I can stay out of trouble. LOL.
I know that the title confuses you since I have worked for almost 3 years now here at TCC, but as of today, I am off probation and am an official UAB Hospital employee. I was worried after bombing my review test, but made a good interview and pulled threw. It does not mean a lot of change for me other than I can now us my benefits of time off and discounts for education for me and the family.
Yes I am sitting here at my desk at TCC for tonight. I worked Still Waters yesterday and last night. We have staff meeting tomorrow morning then some errands. Amy has got me going to Brookwood Village tonight to stand in line and get a number for getting in line on Thursday to meet an author and get him to sign some books. The books are for the library at the school. I do not know who he is, so do not ask.
Nothing much to report on. All I do is work, work on the tractor cruise and sleep. Oh and do Band stuff! The band did well on Saturday at competition, but did not score as well as they should. It was a great day for them and they got to see some great bands. Maybe the scores will be better on the 18th. I personally can not wait till the season is over.
Amy and I are still battling the colds or whatever illness we have. I am so tired of coughing and wheezing.
Well, as most of you know, Hunter turns 15 this Friday. OH MY, I am feeling old. It will be good to have a chauffeur for the year, but scary as well. I will let you know how that is going.
"Everyone Knows Jeff" comes from my family stating that we can not go anywhere that I don't know someone or someone knowing me. But most of you do not know the true me and thats what I want to share with you.
